January 2012
There's a whole handle of rum in this cooler
I know this. But I can’t taste the rum.
That just means that SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL
December 2011
There's this chick on the bus...
And she’s talking in the phone holding her other hand up to her mouth like she’s blocking a horde of lip readers from gaining access to her conversation, which I assume is about secret shit but I can’t tell because I am listening to bomb ass music.
Rethinking my life choices...
As soon as I posted that pigeon wildlife picture I saw some gummi bears on the red line, and that would have been a better pic for that caption.
I am a C Class passenger
That’s what I get for getting my ticket last night.
And then there was a lady with a walker waking faster than I was. AND I AM NO SLOUCH. I like to walk like I like my women: fast and with donuts.
Anyways I’m pretty sure she was using the walker just to get in the pre boarding area. Slick idea, lady, BUT I KNOW YOUR GAME NOW.
And then there was a father saying goodbye to his...
Seeing James Vanderbeek quarterback for the Iowa...
Ive gotten in the habit of hearing a song...
And then saying “oh god that’s Katy Perry, isn’t it? FML”
(It was Cee Lo)
I was born this way
Doesn’t that lady gaga song sound like Madonna’s Express Yourself? Or is it just me? AM I ALREADY DRUNK?
Thoughts while watching MSNBC right now...
Old Dudes, you looked like well dressed assholes BEFORE you held up the campaign sign, so the Newt 2012 poster was just redundant.
Someone on the bottom tweeted about a “Santorum Surprise” and I threw up a little bit.
Why can’t I have a teevee talk show? I promise I won’t cuss that much!
I put PC Cleaner Commercials in the same category as predatory lenders. “Does...
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take a look at this scale of the universe - feel... →
Pretty much the coolest thing ever.
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So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the...
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INTERNET FIGHT →
(h/t to Michele and her retweets)
And I’ve been away from the nets for a few days, so if this has been posted before, I apologize.
BUT click the top link and read/skim through the emails between some dude and a seller of game controllers who is a complete asshole. The guy behind Penny Arcade gets involved and shit gets real.
Click here for an additional post from Penny Arcade with an...
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ashamedtosay replied to your post: DAYS OF OUR LIVES
Are they still doing turn away from people you are talking to, poop your pants face, turn back to people, people turn away from you, smell the poop face, turn back? I love their staging.
YUP. It’s the BEST.
I think I'm going to write a story
On how Santa Claus was the first PIMP and thats how the flashy outfit and signature “ho ho ho” started.
He was a good pimp though. Caring about his stable of bitches and his hood. He and his bitches would run out every Christmas Eve and deliver blowjobs and sex and stuff to neighborhood folks who were nice to the pimp and didn’t call the cops on him.
Those who did call the 5-0,...
MORE DOOL THOUGHTS
HOLY SHIT VICTOR KIRIAKIS IS STILL ALIVE
And how do you start crying reciting your vows only a year after you did it the first time? I bet Sammie cries every day when they make coffee in the morning. WTF.
I thought evening commercials were bad. Daytime seems to be a bit worse.
Marlena looks the same as she did 20 years ago. Thank you Salem Plastic Surgery, Inc!
The spirit of Christmas is in...
DAYS OF OUR LIVES
They should just rename Salem to DRAMAVILLE.
Bo and Hope are still there! While that is cool, I do remember Billie. And not the ugly Lisa Rinna version. The hot Krista Allen version.
Sammie is still all up in the drama. Apparently renewing her vows a year into her 5th marriage.
Marlena is not welcome at her daughters vow renewal, probably because she caught amnesia again and then got possessed...
Holiday Folgers Commercials are the new Hallmark...
In that they both want to make me BARF.
SERIOUSLY ITS A GODDAMN COFFEE COMMERCIAL. DONT TRY AND PLUCK MY EMOTIONAL STRINGS BECAUSE I HAVE NONE. JUST TELL ME IT IS SOMEWHAT OK COFFEE AND I WILL BUY IT WHENEVER I CANT GET DUNKIN DONUTS COFFEE FORTHELOVEOFJEEBUS
Theives, Bandits, Low-Lifes, Scum...
Punks that buckle under the rumble of my drum.
(click here for understanding)
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“And before you start to object by telling me that breastfeeding is beautiful and...”
– girl-detective with what is surely to be a nominee for quote of the year.