August 2010
10 tags
WOW
Thank you all for the birthday wishes and songs! I would reblog them all, but I’m assuming you all know these tunes by heart, AS YOU SHOULD, and do not require me to reblog them.
Seriously though, thank you, everyone. :) I will now proceed to try and drink myself silly and remember the good times back when I was a smoking hot 32 year old.
July 2010
Remember the other night when I was drunk and...
REMEMBER? Well after much deliberation…
http://pornocaption.tumblr.com/
There it is. I will operate this blog under a few general principles.
I will not be posting during work hours, so feel free to follow it if you choose. Lets say 6pm Mountain to latenight-ish Mountain and weekends are fair game.
I will try to find original sources.
I really have no principles.
If I caption a...
9 tags
I like this Tumblr crushes rework
It seems like it’s more of a RECENT count rather than an all time count.
SO apparently, I like 6%. I also like 5% and 4%, BUT I like 3% SIX TIMES MORE THAN THE OTHER PERCENTAGES.
3 tags
My buddy is biking 150 miles for MS →
Every year for the past 4 years, my buddy Bob bikes from Waukesha, WI to Madison, WI to support the search for a cure for Multiple Sclerosis, as well as help fund programs for those with MS.
The interesting thing is that 5 years ago, he was diagnosed with MS. And he continues to ride and promises to do so until he can bike no longer.
So if you are feeling generous and want to help a good cause,...
I think I'm going to start a porn blog tumblr...
And I will do nothing more than caption pictures.
Sometimes I see a picture of some chick naked in a field of flowers and I think “Isn’t she scared of getting bugs and ants in her hoo-haa? Maybe she already has them in there! THATS WHY SHE IS MAKING THAT FACE”
I DONT HAVE ANY MORE BRISKET BECAUSE I ATE IT ALL
FML
I wish I had something else to complain about, but...
FML
I am joining Ms. Yodelmachine in saying WHAT THE...
If I want I can look up the fucking definition of self-actualization WHEN I WANT TO.
I LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT INCONSEQUENTIAL INTERNET SHIT.
Replace one part of your Tumblr name with vagina
spdracerx:
The Vagina Monologues
Hmmm…
Things From Some Vagina
So I have no pictures of me as a teen here...
So to compensate, I am listening to Hi-Five right now and I will ask ALL OF YOU A HUGE FAVOR.
If you hear of someone starting a Hi-Five tribute band, please let me know ASAP.
ASAP.
I need to feel alive after that last flick
So I’m going to Desperado.
SHITLOADS OF BLOOD
SHITLOADS OF BULLETS
Salma Hayek. OMG.
hellnope asked: you're, like, madly in love w/ neyo, huh? when's the wedding? am i invited?
I've been to OMFGAREYOUSERIOUSistan
It’s pretty there in the fall.
MY EYES ARE ROLLING OUT OF MY HEAD
I don’t know why I am live tumblring this. I’m more interested in Abby’s rollerskating feature motion picture.
EVEN CAPTAIN MORGAN ISN’T HELPING.
Could Katherine Heigl BE any more frigid?
/Chandler
This is pretty much the worst thing I have ever...
I feel bad for laughing at the funny parts.
I'm watching The Ugly Truth
And I feel emotionally stupider with every passing minute.
AND I LIKE ROMANTIC COMEDIES.
Katherine Heigl is horrible. Cute, but horrible.
1 tag
THOUGHTS ON LIFE AND SHIT
FIRST OFF - My internet sucks balls today.
2) Re: The Jailbreaking - The ruling just means that Apple cannot sue you for doing it, which they weren’t doing anyway. If the ruling had meant that Apple had to support the hardware after jailbreaking, well that would be huge.
C. - I have two HUGE problems with iOS4.
C.1 - If I am watching a video, and I get a text, THE VIDEO STOPS. It...
TUMBLR BLOWS BALLS TODAY
So I was subjected to this Bulletproof song...
And then I watched the video out of sheer morbid curiosity.
This is like hipsterness run amok, right?
UGH.
Michelle Bachmann: Math Wizrd →
Bachmann went on to claim that while prior to President Obama’s election, “the private economy was 100 percent held in private hands,” while “today 65 percent of the economy is now held in government’s hands - either through direct ownership or control.”
It’s not clear where Bachmann got the 65 percent figure. She claimed on CBS’ “Face...
DIAL 1-900-SQUIBS A LOT
And kick them nasty thoughts.
1 tag
IF EVER YOU'RE IN MY ARMS AGAIN
THIS TIME
I’LL HOLD YOU FOREVER
THIS TIME WILL NEVER ENNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Not everyone has the balls to post the content of...
Good job, Cary.
I don’t want to be rude
I don’t mean...
1 tag
And when I say I did it I mean I did it, I smacked...
So I put 2 and 2 together, and figured out you had...
When I grow up I want to be an astronaut...
Also if there isn’t asstronaut porn, then there probably should be.
TRUTHFUL MONDAY (WHERE MONDAY HAS A BIT OF BACARDI...
THERE IS NOTHING TRUTHFUL ABOUT ME. I AM A SHAM.
Just kidding. I’m all real.
Even more realer when I’m trying to flick all four of my nipples at the same time.
So
I may be a bit narcissistic, but I have a tracked tag for “squibble”. In case I don’t follow someone or if I miss a post where someone is talking about how crazy I am or something, I can see it there.
Anyways, there’s this dude now who apparently is making it a verb.
“Doesn’t the camera above look absolutely squibble?”
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
I'm watching Funny People
and it’s heartwarming.
I want to hug people and shit.
She makes the hair on the back of my neck stand...
This morning I was daydreaming on the massage...
about running through fields of daisies with Zamphir (the pan flute dude) and we were chasing naked chicks and butterflies.
It was then that he told me, “DUDE you need to listen to more classical music and shit.”
I was like “Cool, bro.”
And then we continued frolicking while chasing naked chicks and butterflies.
This is the shit that goes through my head when that...
I like it when I pour rum & coke #4 or 6 or thrive...
and some smoke comes out of the coke bottle and it feels like I’m making a magical concoction that turns me into Dr. Jekyll or Captain Squibble or something.
2 tags
THIS IS MY PREROGATIVE I CAN TUMBL WHATEVER I WANT...